Is it happiness?

We all search something in this world

Some of us like to search

The way the things are

Some of us like to search

Something new: full of surprises

Some of us don't search at all

They find everything boring

But in many phases of our life

We all search something

Because we are so aware with our life

At least in the view that

We can find something

We can be happy

We search whenever we want

And the reason is simple

We don't want to be alone

And there are more of them

Who choose to be alone

No happiness

That hurts, doesn't it??

Being alone all the time

Even if you know you can find happiness

All you need to do is try

But you rather choose loneliness

What an idiotic person you are.

This is one of those stories

The story of people like me

Who want to be alone in some phase of their life

Who will choose anything but not happiness

If you ask

Did it hurt??

You need more than a heart to understand

Even if I explain you won't feel that way

That moments I experienced

I would like to consider it as the rough phase of my life

But I will laugh now if I see that old and silly me

A game he played that time

For being alone, losing all the happiness

For nothing

Just because he wants to be alone

Just because he was apart from the love of his life.

I won't blame anyone

For that loneliness and moreover

I didn't search anything to be happy

I thought happiness was not made for people like me

Otherwise

What do you think I am changed than before??

By the way it's my fault

I never showed my real face

I wore that mask: mask that hid everything

What a hard task it was

The game of mask

Hiding your pain behind that smile

It was no fun, I guess

Trust me

Why wearing those masks??

Just to run from reality

Just to move on

Or it's the way to show

You are ready to waste three years of your life

For a girl who doesn't love you back

For a girl who doesn't see how much crazy you are for her

For a girl who left you without a reason

Was it  worth??

I ask those question three years

Was I the only one who was alone??

I ask those question three years

But now I have a beautiful answer

You will always be happy if you let yourself

Don't let your life be still and stuck

Because you will change yourself

Without noticing

Even you will be proud of yourself

For that change

For being alone

Proud of what??

Being a gladiator who hides between shadow

When he had to shine

Being no one when everyone needs you

It's hard you know

The loss you bear that time

Even it takes lifetime to heal the consequences

But what's gone is gone

We can't bring it back

But losing so much things is also burden

I was an idiot

I lost because I hid my feeling

Don't dare to hide

There are lots of beautiful people around you

Who want to be part of your life by accepting your past

Look who is telling you??

The one who has made that mistake

I made the mistake

I am just a human

Don't I deserve a second chance??

By the way it’s up to you to choose

Whatever you choose

Always remember happiness matters

And the way I did was a total loss

Find a good way.

Is there anyone to blame??

I won't blame anyone

For those years

For that changes

It was my decision and I must be proud of it

Don't we all become ready to regret or be happy before we decide something??

I did the same but turn around

The answer of my decision was few happiness and more regrets

Am I wrong??

I may be wrong

I may have survived that fate

I may try so hard to join needless broken threads

Again, and again

Over and over

Like I will win this new wound with my old medicine

But I didn't know it hurt even more

I forgot wounds are wounds

Either its old or new

They are just meant to hurt

But don't worry I took that decision

I am prepared for everything

Either its regrets or happiness

Sometime I feel glad I chose to be alone

And I am strong now

Am I strong??

It’s up to you to answer

I don't judge people

I am better at analyzing

Judging was never my habit

If I am good judge

I rather choose happiness than being alone

Whether you tell me

I am strong

I am cold hearted

I am full of attitude

I am bad at talking with people

I have so much thoughts on my mind

Trust me

I too have a good heart

I too want to be loved

I too want to be happy

Don't we all deserve to be happy??

Is it happiness

Aku